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[November 24, 2009 | 01:54 PM] |
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Before the Morning Sun::Korpiklaani |
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I am incrediably happy.
On Friday, Brian and I are purchasing our plane tickets to Norway for Inferno Festival. And next week, I'm going to start filling out the papers and talking to people about interning in Bamburg, Germany over the summer, and/or maybe next fall.
Ebay is really an amazing thing. From November 2nd to today, I've made 153.88. That means I've made between $375 and $400 from ebay/half.com since August from about 20 items. I know that, compared to the price I paid when I was buying the stuff forever ago, that isn't very much. But considering what it would have gone for if I had sold it at a yard sale, I did damn good.
I've settled on what I'm going to get my history degree in: Prehistoric, Ancient, and Medieval European Studies. I can't do it here because there aren't enough courses in any of the areas to constitute an emphasis, but I'm sure I could find a grad and/or doctoral program. I want to focus on Celtic and Scandinavian/Viking cultures, considering 1. they have a fucking incrediable history and 2. they're pretty important in understanding history, but no one ever pays any attention to them. Hence the fact that we have no classes on either culture, and why Books-A-Million has less than 10 books about both cultures combined (although there are dozens each on Egypt, Roman, and China).
I have my tattoo designed (in my head)! I'm going to sketch it out on paper this weekend, and I would like to get it before Christmas.
I am also started making this absolutely fucking beautiful dress last night. All of it is made out of dupioni silk. At the moment, it's "plain" very pale teal and strapless with a sweetheart bustline, has an empire cut but it's rather fitted through the waist before it billows out into a full skirt. When it's done, it will have about a 6" thick border of dark red, milky brown, and a dusky gold/sand/brown very intricate knotwork that I am tatting myself. It will also have a finer patch of knotwork following the curve of the sweetheart bustline that ends in a triangle between the boobs and extends off of the bodice to form a straps that can be tied behind the neck or attached with buttons to the back of the dress to form normal spaghetti-straps. Except they will be knotwork! I'm very excited for it, and hope to have it finished within reason by Sunday. The actual dress is already finished, but I have to buy some things before I can start weaving the knotwork. It is certainly going to take a looong time.
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[November 12, 2009 | 10:12 PM] |
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I honestly think that I could be okay with listening to nothing but Eluveitie for the rest of the forseeable future. I honestly have never loved a band, or a particular song or even genre half as much as I love them. I am prone to exaggeration, I admit, but I'm really not this time. Holy dick. And they are just as amazing live as they are on albums.
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[November 08, 2009 | 10:08 PM] |
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The Arcane Dominion::Eluveitie |
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I had a very, very amazing weekend.
I arrived at Brian's in Aliquippa shortly before 2, and then we headed off to Cleveland. It was a pleasant drive--good weather, no construction and average traffic. We got to our hotel (the Marriott) sometime between 3:30 and 4, and discovered that we've been upgraded, apparently. So, for $100 we got this gigaaaantic suite. Like. It's huge. And very beautiful. So, before concert #1 we run out and get some dinner and then head to the House of Blues which is literally a block away from our hotel. So nice.
Line up for the first concert was Hate Eternal, Born of Osiris, Unearth, Cannibal Corpse, and Hatebreed. I really wish Hate Eternal had played more songs, because I really dug them. Born of Osiris sucked, Unearth was pretty good--I liked their music, but didn't like them. And Cannibal Corpse was very good. We didn't stay to see Hatebreed because neither of us are into them. We went back to the hotel for a moment and then headed back over to the House of Blues to meet the bands after the show. We ended up meeting Corpse Grinder (one word? Two? Spelling correct? I hate no idea), and Brian got his autograph, so it was sort of worth standing in the cold for forever, haha.
Here's the great part. So, we had planned on going to this bar a few blocks farther down the street, but I had left my coat in the hotel room. In most hotels, that wouldn't be a problem, but to get to our room we had to walk through the hotel for literally 5 mintues. So, that sort of sucked. But, instead we went to this Irish pub right next to the hotel that was playing some nice blues stuff. We got beer (he picked out something for me to drink, and it was actually very good), and were just talking when one of the other members of Cannibal Corpse walks in. Long story short, Brian ends up doing a triple shot of Jäger with the guy. He's just giddy, smiling like a schoolboy. So, we're back at our table and he's all glowing, and he vows that he'll do shots with every one of the Corpse guys who ends up at the pub. I had just proceeded to cover his eyes jokingly as he stared at the door just WAITING, when another member of Corpse comes in. Thankfully, the guy wasn't a shot-sort-of-guy, so Brian was spared having to do another, as he was already quite buzzed by that point.
So, around midnight, as no one else came in, we headed back up to the room and crashed. Or, sort-of crashed, as our bed was incrediably uncomfortable so we were both sort of in-and-out of sleep the entire night. We get up at noon, are informed that we need to be out by 1:30 (we had planned on staying in the room until 6 :/ ), and then we pack up and go to this awesome little restaurant in Lakeside. He found it by looking on the Food Network's website or something; I guess it's supposed to be featured on one of the TV shows. We waited for a bit over an hour for a seat--and we end up sitting at the bar because it was first-come, first-serve--but oh. my. lord. was it worth the wait. They specialize in grilled cheese sandwiches, and Sweetbabyjesuswasitgood.
We mill around the town for a bit and plan our trip to--wait for it--Norway. We're going to Norway over Easter, apparently, haha. The Inferno Festival, which has a very amazing line up so far. It'll cost a bit less than $1300 including airfair, 5 days hotel, food, tickets to 45 concerts, etc.
Anyway. Theeeeeeeeeeeeeen we go to Heathefest, which might have been the highlight of my concert-going life. Hammer Horde (which is a band from Toledo of kids I'm faiiiirrrrly sure are younger than me, but FUCKING EPIC AS HEL(other L optional)!) , Vreid, Alestorm, Belphegor, and ELUVEITIE. And some other band that really sucked, but we were in the other room. Oh. My. God. was it good. Vreid was very all-about Norway, Alestorm was just pure Scottish pirate magic and glee (they opened with the phrase SHOW US YOUR TITS, CLEVELAND!), Belphegor really almost succeeded in ripping my face off (could be the fact that I was literally sitting on the stage at this point. Could not get better "seats"), but Brian ruined them for me because he brought to my attention that the singer's speaking voice sounded like Fozzy Bear from the Muppets. He and the guy squeezed in with us started doing Fozzy Bear/Cookie Monster impressions and I just couldn't handle it. Every time I'd turn around to look at him he'd just start doing impressions and making faces, and I was done.
Then there was Eluveitie. My love for that band is endless. Just.
Okay. On the fairly small stage, they had a bagpiper/floutist, violinist, two guitarists, a bassist, a hurdy-gurdy player, the drummer with a full set, and then the vocalist. All headbanging and jumping around. And it was really like a musical orgasm. I'm sorry, but growling vocals and a hurdy-gurdy and bagpipes cannot fail. Cannot. An impossibility. And at the end I got the lead guitarist's pick, haha. Thank God for Brian being ridiculously tall.
Then we drove home. I got back to my house around 5:20, and was definitely asleep by 5:25.
This weekend was just magical. Except for today, but there's no point in ruining a happy update. Yay!
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[November 02, 2009 | 09:50 PM] |
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This is going to be a good year.
For whomever doesn't really know my system of beliefs, etc., yesterday was the traditional New Year. I don't see it as a new calendar year, such as Jan. 1, but a sort of spiritual new year. A time of cleansing and rebirth, etc. I have a very huge list of things to "accomplish" for this coming year. I feel very good about it at the moment, for a huge number of reasons. I think, most importantly, at this moment in life I am probably the closest I've ever been to being 100% comfortable in myself.
I am very happy with everything in life. I have a good job, I am a student in two programs that I thoroughly love. I am the costume designer for one full play, a Faculty-Choreographed dance in this year's dance show, and the props mistress/master/supervisor/whatever for a play in Wheeling. I have earned a really amazing amount of respect in the theatre department, and have a lot of people working hard to help me get scholarships and internships, I am more artistically mature and inspired than I have ever been; the amount of progress I have made since August is astounding, and many people have noticed.
I feel very at home with myself spiritually and physically, and have finally sort of overcome my desire to please or impress everyone. I love how I dress, and the fact that other people love it, too, is an excellent sidenote. I think people around me have begun to notice how happy I've been. I get a lot of comments from strangers and acquaintances about my energy and talent, which really surprises me. I went to Wheeling with my wife for the play-thing and met her family for the first time. Her dad mentioned within an hour or so of meeting me about how many gifts I had, which really caught me off guard, as I hadn't done anything to warrant the comment. Also, Jana said something about how she actually changed what clothes she was wearing before she came to pick me up because, as she said, knew I was "going to look cute, because she always does, so I couldn't let her be the only one." That really surprised me as well, because Jana isn't really the type to give compliments or make statements like that lightly.
And people, particularly guys, are starting to act differently towards me, just out in the world. I get a lot of guys going out of their way to do things for me, or being exceptionally eager to assist me, or give me unmerited discounts, etc. And a lot less attention in the way of, "Lemme get yo numba," or "hey sexah thang." More "positive," less overtly sexual stuff. Definitely unexpected, and I honestly don't know what has caused this very sudden change.
Anyway. In lieu of the New Year, I have begun fasting. In high school I was so regular with it and various other aspects of my spiritual life that I really regret letting myself slip. Thinking back, it doesn't surprise me that, the time after I had begun to sort of stray from my little rituals was the beginning of the most troubling point in my life. Hopefully, getting everything back on track now and really getting back to the roots of my personal beliefs will usher in a new, clean era of life. I allow myself one "meal" a day, eaten sometime in the afternoon, with only water in between. Meals usually consist of a slice of bread and cheese, or something similar--something small. I will break it on Friday, which is hopefully going to be the beginning of a very awesome weekend, and maaaaaaybe the beginning of something quite unexpected. I will update more on that later.
I officially weigh less than I did my junior year of high school. And I'm over 3/5ths of the way to my first "goal" weight. Which means, in 19 pounds, I will be ready to allow myself to seriously plan out my tattoo. Also, one of my friends is investigating new haircuts for me. :O I miiiiiight get all of my hair cut off, but I'm really not sure. Again, I don't want to do it until I reach the first goal.
(:
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[October 24, 2009 | 12:00 AM] |
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Rammstein::Pussy (video) Muahaha. |
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I completed two paintings today! You can see one of the paintings beneath the cut. Sorry for the fuzzyness; taken with my camera phone.
( Paintings! )And I lost two pounds today!
And I bought a bunch of leather corsets/girdles and fur pieces from the Costume shop! And a sari, and a really awesome skirt. And a bunch of other shit. For $22 total!
I am getting very close to my goal weight for the tattoo-getting-ness. I am quite excited. Now I just have to refine the design a bit more, and lose the next few pounds and I AM READDDYYY. :D Thirty down, twenty to go! Then, after the next 50, I will probably get another tattoo. And then I'll be my ideal weight. :D
I am very happy with life right now. I will update further when I am less cracked out on meds for all the crazy spasms I've been having lately.
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[October 20, 2009 | 06:27 PM] |
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From a legal standpoint, the next 5 hours and 45 minutes are the last moments of my childhood. At midnight, I will be 21. 21 years without a single use of drugs of any sort outside of medicine, 21 years without a single moment of drunkenness, 21 years of reasonable virginity, 21 years without a felony, misdemeanor, detention, pink slip, or even a real half-serious reprimand of any sort, from a legal or parental body. 50 years ago, I would have been a Godsend. 150 years ago, a spinster. Now, am I an anomaly? So many people, on their 21st birthday, celebrate their real acceptance into the world of “adulthood.” How many people mourn the loss of a childhood? All of this is theoretical, of course, as birthdays do not determine adulthood or childhood, or even the actions of most people on the following days. Should this be considered a “new year”? A potential new beginning, a time for resolutions and good tidings and cheer? Or should it be just another day? Or somewhere in between? Is it different than any other birthday, really? Or any other day for that matter? At midnight, will I become an “adult”? Should I become an adult? Should it, or will it matter? Probably not.
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[October 13, 2009 | 01:04 PM] |
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x-contaminators::grails |
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Taking time out of studying for Latin, I have just a quick little rant.
Why. The. Fuck. Does. It. Matter. What. Size. Models. Are.
Yes, there are skinny models. Yes, there are models who may be too skinny. And, yes, some plus-size models may not seem adequately "plus-size" to the average heavier woman. But why the fuck are there so many articles and so much controversy over the subject of weight?
While I do not necessarily agree with the entirety of the article, I think Karl Lagerfeld puts it fucking beautifully: The fashion industry is about "dreams and illusions" and I don't think anyone can disagree with that statement without a very long, thoughtful retort. The industry is about the dreams and illusions of designers. People do not buy what goes down the runway, and, for the most part, clothing that is made to be sold is exhibited on models who are not unhealthily thin (or fat, for that matter). You do not see ads for Penneys, Kohls, or the Gap that include women so thin their ribs stick out, nor do you see women who are so fat that they jiggle. They are women who are healthy, even if they may be slightly smaller or larger than the average female. They fit into the sizes that are sold at the stores.
SO WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER. If models want to be the weight they are, then let them be! If they choose to accept the critique of designers who call them too fat and diet themselves to hell, then let them. There are hundreds of examples where models who have been critiqued in such a manner simply go to another designer. It's not like they do not have choices. And the ones who stay with the offending designer are doing it of their own choice. It does not matter what people sitting at home on couches think about the weight of models. They are not, and probably never have been or will be, part of the industry. Done.
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[October 10, 2009 | 01:32 AM] |
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Existing is a very strange activity.
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